If you are a new parent struggling to develop a bedtime routine for your kids, or if you already have a routine but it’s not working as you would like it to, this blog is for you! Chaos during the evenings can be overwhelming, especially when your child is about to start daycare or school. Therefore, it is crucial to establish a routine to help your child settle down and get a good night’s sleep.
Take A Good Look At How Your Evenings Go
Do you follow a fixed schedule for your children’s evening activities? Do you have a dedicated bedtime for them or do they stay up until they are too tired to continue? One of the most useful tips that I can give you is to make your children’s bedtime routine a priority. Additionally, it is crucial to consider what activities they should or should not be engaged in before bedtime.
During the early days of parenting, I did not have a consistent bedtime routine in place for my children. I would typically let them play and have fun until they became tired, and then put them to bed. However, I soon realized the importance of having a structured bedtime routine for our family. The evening playtime often prevented the children from calming down and getting ready for bed. Once I established a bedtime routine, things became much easier and more beneficial for everyone involved.
How do you build a bedtime routine for kids?
Start with creating a bedtime routine chart for your child and display it in a visible location. The chart should include a list of activities that your child should complete before going to bed. We highly suggest you laminate the chart so that it can be reused for a longer period. As your child grows, you can update the chart by adding new activities and replacing the pictures with text.
At what age should you start a bedtime routine for kids?
Starting a nighttime routine with your toddlers is a great idea. At this age, they are very adaptable and you can pretty much create any routine and make it stick with consistency. You can even make it fun for them. Create a consistent bedtime schedule so that they know what to do each night.
Even though younger children may not be able to read the list, you can begin a schedule with them that includes pictures and help them learn. This will make life easier for you starting at a young age, as it can become a normal routine, habit, and schedule.
Bedtime Routine Chart Tasks
- Bath/Shower
- Get Pajamas on
- Brush Teeth
- Brush Hair
- Read
- Set out clothes for the next day if not already done
- Make Lunch or Snack for School for the following day
- Make Sure Backpack And All School Stuff Is Packed and Ready For Next Day
- Pick Up Toys or Clean Up
- Finish any Homework or Study if not completed during after school time
- Last Drink of Water And Take Any Bedtime Medicine
- Go Potty
- Goodnight hugs, cuddles, and kisses
- Get in Bed and Go To Sleep
I will explain how to start a bedtime routine chart for different age groups. You will do the same but adjust tasks accordingly to age and ability to do them. Also don’t forget that kids may have different tasks to do than others even in your own family.
Bedtime Routine for Kids: Toddlers and Young Children
- Creating a nightly routine chart can help your child develop a consistent bedtime routine. A simple routine chart can be made with pictures of a bathtub, toothbrush/toothpaste, and a bed. You can add pictures of pajamas, a brush, and a book as your child becomes more consistent with the routine. Start with only three pictures first, and adjust the routine as you see fit.
- To make a chart, use pictures of the tasks that your child needs to do each evening. Keep it simple and easy to understand. You can print it off and put it up where your child can easily see it, or you can draw a chart that is specific to meet your child’s needs. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. The goal is to create a routine and help your child stick to it.
- It’s important to establish a bedtime routine for your child, and one way to do that is by walking them through the routine each day. You can talk to your toddler about what’s happening as you prepare them for bed, and point to the pictures to help them understand. For example, you could say “It’s time to get ready for bed” and point to the picture of a bed. Then you could say “Let’s take a bath” and point to the picture of a bathtub. Next, you could say “Let’s brush your hair” and point to the hairbrush. After that, you could say “It’s time to put on your pajamas” and point to that picture. Don’t forget to say “It’s time to brush your teeth” and point to the picture of a toothbrush. Finally, it’s time to get into bed and read bedtime stories.
- Establish a set time to start your child’s bedtime routine each night. This will help them establish good sleep habits, which are essential for their health and well-being. When you follow a schedule, especially from a young age, your child will know what they need to do and when. As they get used to the routine, they may even start to take on some of the tasks themselves. For instance, you can ask them to do the first thing on their chart, and you’ll be there in just a minute to help them with the rest of their routine. This will help your child become more independent and responsible, while also ensuring they get the restful sleep they need.
You can label each item on your chart, along with the corresponding picture, or you can wait and add labels when your child is in preschool. This will help your child to learn words and associate them with the picture and what you are saying. Preschoolers who are learning to read or memorize words can start picking up on these words.
Bedtime Routines for Kids: Preschoolers
If you establish regular bedtimes for your child, it will help them develop a healthy sleeping habit as they grow older. If you’re just starting a bedtime routine for your preschooler, create a chart with tasks they need to complete before going to bed. Guide them through each step of the routine until they can do it independently.
We recommend establishing a consistent bedtime routine at least several weeks before your child begins preschool or daycare. This will allow them to become familiar with the routine and be more comfortable on their first day. Additionally, use this trial period to determine how long the routine will take so that you can adjust accordingly. Keep in mind that as your child gets older and becomes more accustomed to the routine, they will likely be able to complete it more quickly and independently.
- A bedtime routine chart with pictures and words is best for this age group. Continue with the chart that you made with your toddlers but add words next to or below the pictures.
- By preschool age, your child may have established a routine for the basic tasks they need to do before bed. However, you can add more items to this routine if they are ready for it. For instance, you could include saying a prayer, or bedtime story, or putting away their toys.
- You may see that your preschoolers want to try and do some of those tasks by themselves. Such as brushing their hair, putting pajamas on independently, and so on.
- This is awesome and what you have been waiting for so applaud them for doing it independently even if it wasn’t done the best. If they miss some spots in their hair or put on pajamas inside out don’t make a big deal about it. Tell them you are so proud of them doing it themselves. And then politely say you missed a spot here on your hair maybe brush right here a little.
- Or if they put their pajamas on inside out you could simply not say anything. Or maybe when getting dressed the next morning or night show them what it looks like when clothes are inside out. Then show them how they can tell. Also, show them how easily they can turn their clothes right side out.
- It’s important to avoid yelling or criticizing your child for doing something wrong. Children are less likely to want to fix the problem if they feel threatened or belittled. Rather than telling them that they did a great job when they didn’t, it’s better to stay positive and encourage them to keep trying. For example, you could say “Thank you for trying to brush your hair” and then acknowledge the difficulty by saying “I see that there are some bad knots in your hair. It can be hard to get the knots out. Let me show you what you can do to make it easier.” Yelling or criticizing children can lead to negative interactions and can make it harder for them to learn new things. By staying positive and supportive, you can help your child learn and grow in a positive way.
Kindergarten to First Grade
- When your child starts school, you may need to add more tasks such as preparing their backpack or setting out clothes for the next day. Doing this ahead of time can help avoid wasting time and possibly running late in the morning. For great information on morning routines be sure to check that out.
- If your child can read the items on the chart, you could now remove the pictures and keep only the words.
Young school-age kids
- You may be able to take off all the pictures now and can add in a few more bedtime tasks. Such as preparing a snack for the following day.
- Please make sure to laminate the chart. At this age, it can be enjoyable for children to mark off their completed tasks each night. By laminating the chart, they can use dry-erase markers to check off the items, and then erase and reuse it for each night.
- Most school-age kids can get ready independently now. They might need a little assistance but for the most part, they can get ready for bed on their own.
If just starting a bedtime routine now with your school-aged children, then it’s best to get one going quickly. Better late than never. At this age, if they didn’t have a structured bedtime routine you might realize that they had a somewhat routine. Just not a structured one. What I mean by this is that your kids probably brush teeth, get a bath, get their pajamas on, and go potty before bed. It just may not be on a specific schedule to start it in the evenings or set bedtime. And maybe not all the tasks would get done each night.
You might have a little more resistance at this age if your kids aren’t used to a schedule from toddler age up. Just keep the consistency and figure out how to make it fun and work for you and your child. Once your child gets used to the repetitive set of activities to be done in the bedtime routine the more free time they might end up having.
Older school-age kids
- Continue the bedtime list for them to mark off as they do them.
- Add in some new ones if needed like prepare your lunch box and water bottle to help in the morning.
- Continue the chart if they can’t seem to do everything each night without reminders. As your child becomes very self-sufficient in doing all their items on their own without reminders then drop the chart. But knowing that you can bring the chart back at any point if they stop doing their routine consistently.
Junior High and High School kids
At this age, junior high and high school kids shouldn’t need a parent to remind them to do their bedtime routine or help them with any. Older children should be completely independent and do it without any issues. If for some reason your kid can’t seem to get their tasks done before bedtime, then evaluate what’s going on and why they aren’t doing them.
- The routine chart may still be needed, if so, let them use it.
- Add in any other items like packing athletic clothes in a backpack or putting instruments in the case and ready for school.
- If your teen is having difficulty getting to bed at a good time with everything done, then you need to figure out why. Is it because they are just too lazy and need more motivation, or busy playing video games or watching TV or on other electronic devices? If any of those are the reasons your child isn’t completing their tasks then take something away from them like a phone, laptop, gaming system, TV, or whatever you need to, till they are done with their bedtime routine.
- If it’s because they aren’t using their time effectively and are still up late doing homework then help them understand how they should do it once home from school. And do not put it off till later in the evening.
- Figure out what is going on with your kid and work from there.
Parents, please take note: If your child is given an excessive amount of homework each night, and it takes them the entire evening to complete it, please speak with your child’s teacher or teachers. It is important to advocate for your child’s well-being. Homework should not take up that much time, nor should it cause them to stay up late and miss out on sleep.
As you should be able to see now, the bedtime routine for kids is very important.
A bedtime routine can differ from family to family and even kid to kid. But all in all, a routine at bedtime is a good idea for each child.
Children need a consistent regular bedtime routine so they know what to do and can do it independently as they age. This routine helps in getting your child to bed without tantrums, fights, or arguments. Also, this helps so they are aware of what they should do at bedtime.
Kids need help in starting this new routine and can learn how to make routines/schedules with your help at first.
Children will sleep better by having a consistent schedule and routine before bed. Bedtime routines should be calming and help them relax to prepare for a good night’s rest.
There are some do’s and don’ts for evening time so that your kids can be successful with their bedtime routines
Don’ts Before Bedtime
- Don’t let your kids do a lot of rambunctious play right before bedtime. Have a specific cut-off time from active gross motor play. At that time move to more calming and quiet play like puzzles, coloring, reading books, or playing a simple card or board game. For some kids that might mean having quiet time by reading alone.
- Don’t run around like a chicken with its head cut off. Try to keep the evenings calm and not stressful. If you are running around the house barking orders your kids will get stressed out too. Everyone can go to sleep easier when in a peaceful mood following an orderly bedtime routine.
- Cut off caffeine and sugar by dinner time at least. Any type of stimulant or sugar can get your kids hyped up and can make it harder to get them to do their bedtime routine.
Do’s For Bedtime Routines
- Make sure that your child has had some cuddle time with you. The most important thing is to make sure that you have shown them how much you love them by hugs, snuggles, a kiss goodnight, saying I love you, and spending some quality time with them. Kids who feel that love can be in a good and loving mood when going to bed.
- Do be consistent in a bedtime routine every night and at pretty much the same time each day so it is a predictable routine to follow.
- Do allow your kids a little leniency on weekends, at other people’s homes, or on vacations. They still need a bedtime routine, but they could have a later bedtime depending on what is going on.
- Do be positive with your child so that this will be a positive bedtime routine experience for everyone.
- Be willing to incentivize good behavior on successful bedtime routines if your child needs that. Whether that is just by praise and positive words, or maybe a trip to the park or a fun activity you do on the weekends if they did well that week.
Not only should you create a bedtime routine for kids, but you should look at how your child is sleeping.
- Sleeping is very important, check out my blog on how to help kids sleep. It just may give you some great tips to help your child sleep well throughout the night.
- Make sure you factor in how your child is sleeping. If they continually wake up in the morning in a bad grumpy mood find out why. Maybe they aren’t sleeping well because they must get up and potty in the middle of the night. Or maybe they aren’t going to bed early enough and aren’t getting enough sleep. What if they are having too much screen time before bed and can’t fall asleep fast?
It is important to address and fix any sleep problems that your child may be experiencing.
It could also be the way that your children wake up. If you are banging pots and pans to wake them maybe that is the problem and not sleep. Or if you are yelling at them to get up and all you do is fuss at them in the morning. Help figure out the issue and how you can resolve it. Make sure that you aren’t grumpy with your kids. Help start their day in a good positive way as well as end it in a good way.
So, to review, create a good bedtime routine for kids and make a chart for them to follow. As your child sees the chart each day and follows it, it will soon become a normal routine/habit.
Routines are great for you and your kids. After school/afternoon routines are very important for school age children but also for other kids to have a daily routine.
Remember the Do’s and Don’ts before bed and help positively guide your child’s bedtime.
Be consistent and help your child form a bedtime routine and good habits.
Happy Parent = Happy Child and goes both ways, Happy Kid = Happy Parent.
Good luck with your bedtime routine and have some good snuggles with your kids in the evening to start their sleep off in a loving way.