It’s not always easy for kids to accept a new baby. Kids may be quite content in their life especially at home. When you bring a new baby into their life it can lead to some changes and disruptions to their normal life.
Adding a new baby to the family and accepting a new baby is such a wonderful process but can be stressful in a few ways.
How do you deal with jealousy of a new baby? How to deal with a toddler jealous of new baby?
It is completely normal for a child, especially a toddler to be jealous of a new baby. Toddlers and young kids really don’t understand why mom has a new baby, let alone accept a new baby. They may see that the new baby gets tons of attention, and everyone comes over to see them.
Kids can be very confused and not sure where they stand anymore since they are no longer the baby in the family. Life is different now for them and that can be scary.
My daughter would say “That’s my mommy” to the baby. As a young child that hasn’t had to share their mommy with any other child that can be scary and upsetting to them.
I will list some ways that you can prepare your child for the new baby and ways to help accept a new baby. But first read about some things you need to be aware of first.
Be aware that your child might regress or show behavior issues
Before your child accepts a new baby into the family, they might have some behavior issues first.
Children when they are mad will act out. If your child is confused and mad, they may have more tantrums or start throwing fits. They may do that out of being upset or being jealous and trying to get attention.
Try not to pay much attention to misbehavior as long as they aren’t hurting the baby or themself. Make sure to never leave your kid alone with the baby. They shouldn’t hurt the baby but at their age, they really don’t always understand the consequences of their actions.
Try to give them the attention they want/need in a more positive way. Try to talk with them and understand their feelings.
If you have just previously potty trained your toddler, they might regress and start having accidents. Kids might have issues with wetting the bed.
If you haven’t potty trained yet, then wait. Don’t start now. Wait until the baby is older, the newness is gone, and your child is ready. This goes for getting rid of a pacifier. Or trying to move them from a baby bed to a toddler bed or moving them to a new room. Trying to make a big change in their life as they are going through one like a new baby can be extremely hard and maybe unsuccessful.
When we brought our second child home from the hospital our daughter wasn’t sure about it. And at one time or another, she asked when we would take him back. She didn’t want to share mom and share attention. We did try to prepare her and help with positive bonding ways with her sibling. It really didn’t take long, and she soon was very happy to have a brother and playmate.
There are many ways to prepare your child for a new sibling and help them accept a new baby into the family.
Prepare your child for the new baby: Adding a new baby to the family
- You need to start preparing them well before the baby is due by talking to them and explaining what is happening.
- If for some reason you end up on bed rest don’t blame it on the baby. Don’t say you can’t carry them because of the baby. You don’t want your child to already dislike the baby.
- Once you can see the baby bump talk with your child and tell them a baby is growing in there. Talk to them about when you were pregnant with them. Let them feel your belly when the baby is moving.
- Find some good books to read to your child about a new baby in the family. It would be good to read it every week or so and let them get used to the thought. See if there are any kid movies that help prepare kids with a new baby on the way. Watch those shows together and talk to your child about how they feel about it.
- Have talks with them and ask them if they have questions about the new baby coming. Let them know what will happen when you bring the baby home. Talk about how the baby will need some extra attention and how they could help take care of the baby. Let them know that at first the baby will mostly just sleep, eat, and poop. Let them know once they get bigger/older they can really play with them and how they will have fun together.
- Buy your kid and the new baby matching t-shirts. The older child says big brother/sister and the baby’s saying little brother/sister. Talk about how they will be a big brother/sister and how their younger sibling will look up to them. Let them know that the new baby will love them and think they are cool/fun since they are such a cool kid.
- Have your child be a part of your reveal party or baby shower. Let them be a big part of that. Maybe have a gift for the new big sister/brother to open at the party.
- Show your child pictures of you when you were pregnant with them. Also pictures of them as a baby. And talk about how the baby grows just as they did.
Ways to help your child adapt and accept a new baby sibling
- When your child first meets his baby sibling introduce the baby to your child. Say “This is your big brother/sister she/he is such a wonderful loving kid and is going to be a great brother/sister.” Say great things about your kid to the baby. That will make your child feel special. Then introduce your child to the new baby. And say something like “This is your little brother/sister, and they will have so much fun playing with you when they get bigger. I’m sure they will want to be just like you.”
- When your child meets his new brother or sister, they may not be happy and excited like you would want. Something that worked great for us was having a gift for our daughter. It was a baby doll with accessories. We showed her how she could take care of her baby doll, feeding it, and changing diapers. If you want to buy a baby doll and accessories before the new baby is born that also work.
- When family and friends come over to see the new baby have them say “We are here to see the Big brother/sister.” Have them give that child some attention first. Then have your child introduce the new baby to them. They may feel proud showing off their new sibling.
- Let or encourage your child in helping you with the new baby. They can help feed (if bottle feeding), help change diapers, and help rock the baby. Don’t push them, just encourage them if they want to. Don’t make it feel like they must help. Reinforce their good behavior and help promote their interaction with the baby.
- Give your child more one-on-one time. This can be while your baby is sleeping or having someone watch the baby while you do something with your child. It doesn’t have to be things that cost, it can simply be going to the park or for a walk. Your child just needs your undivided attention.
- Try to equal the amount of attention you give your child and baby.
- Show your child how they can make the baby smile or laugh. This may not be till the baby is a little older, but your child will think it’s cool to make them laugh.
- Try to keep your routines and schedules as close to normal as you can. That will help your child understand not everything has changed. A familiar routine can help bring comfort to your child.
- Have family time with your child and the new baby. Cuddle all together and read together. Have your child sing or read to their brother/sister.
- Fix a craft session with your child and put together a picture book of pictures of them as a baby. They then can show the baby and friends and family. That might also help in the process of understanding how they were a baby once but now a toddler or whatever age. They might then understand how the baby will grow and be more fun one day.
- Let your child know that as the baby gets bigger, they will be able to play with them and have fun together. How they will have a great friend in their sibling and someone to always play with.
- When your baby starts to babble or do things tell the big sister/brother that they are trying to be like them. That can make your child feel special.
As I have mentioned, you should prepare your child for the birth of a new sibling. Maybe that will help them accept a new baby more easily.
Try to involve them and prepare them as much as you can before the baby is born.
Understand that it is normal for your child to get jealous of the baby. Try and do things to promote a healthy, strong sibling bond as soon as possible.
Hopefully, your child will accept a new baby and the process will be easy for you.
Congratulations on your new baby, the new addition to your family!