When I hear the term family bonding I think about my family and whether we have a strong bond or not.
I’m talking about my immediate family as one family and then I look at my childhood family as another family.
When you have a spouse and or your own kids you create a new family and this is your immediate family. In both families you want that family bonding to occur. I’m happy to say I do have that bond in both families. Not to say we don’t ever have little disagreements but if we do, we work them out.
How do you know if you have a strong bond with your family?
When you know that your family (mother, father, sibling, etc…) loves you no matter what you do. Knowing that if you have a bad day or going through something hard that your family has your back. They care how you feel and you care how they feel. Sometimes that feeling of protectiveness with your mother/father or sibling shows you that family bonding has occurred. When you want your family to always be safe and no harm to come to them. If you enjoy spending time together and have fun together that is also a clear sign. Wanting to do things as a family and not doing them just because you feel you have to.
Family bonding is very important!
If you truly want to have a good relationship with your family and everyone in it, everyone needs to feel included, accepted, and loved.
Unconditional love and acceptance helps you bond even more with family members. This can also help with other relationships as well. When you have those family bonding moments where you have that closeness. It can open you up to bonding and creating other relationships with others.
How do families stay connected? By creating and having a strong family bond. Doing activities and things as a family. When you do family activities and things together that can help fill gaps where you might feel disconnected.
When Should Family Bonding Start?
Family Bonding With A Baby
Family bonding should start as soon as you have a new baby. Of course when you have that new little one, family bonding will be all about cuddling/loving on them, showing you love them, taking good care of them, and feeding them.
To me this sounds pretty simple although it is hard work. But to some that may be having difficulties bonding with your baby. Please, please, please talk with your doctor and get help. There might be some simple explanations on why this is not happening or maybe it is happening but you don’t see it or realize it.
Other reasons such as the baby having some type of an issue, maybe sick, not latching on if breast feeding, or having an allergy to bottle milk. If the baby has a disability and isn’t bonding the way you think you should see it. Or you might have a little bit of the baby blues or post postpartum depression.
Please go to your doctor and get their help. Don’t feel ashamed as this can be common and is something out of your control. A doctor can greatly help you out! The sooner you get help the better it will be for you, your baby, and as a family. Especially if you or your baby could be in danger get help immediately!
Having a new baby is such a life changing event and most parents aren’t fully aware of how much life will change. Being a new parent is hard, time consuming, and can completely change your world. But definitely worth all the effort. So start your family bonding early on and keep working on it to stay strong.
I will list some ideas to help with family bonding and ways to keep your family connected. As I said it starts at birth or whatever time you get your baby/child if adopting or migrating families. Please adapt these ideas to whatever age your child/children are to have fun family bonding.
Family Bonding Ideas/Ways To Promote Family Bonding
Popcorn movie night – This is a general idea but you can have whatever snacks your family likes. The whole goal to this is creating a fun night that you and your kids can relax unwind and chill. By watching a movie together eating your favorite snacks. Have a list of movies where you all decide on a movie together or take turns choosing a movie for popcorn movie night.
As my kids were growing up we had this on every Friday night. Sometimes especially as they got older the night had to be changed because of sports or other. Its also a fun way to decide on what snacks to have and fixing those together. It might also be an added adventure on going to the grocery store together and having them choose snacks.
Game Night – You can have a certain day of the week to have a game night or just a spontaneous game time. This is fun as a whole family choosing what game to play and of course taking turns on choosing the game. Playing games creates a great time to have fun but also interact with each family member while playing. Choose games that are appropriate for the youngest member of the family or fix ways to adapt the game to help include them.
If game night gets a little boring take turns on making up or creating a new game or new rules to a game. As an example, my kids enjoy playing games with their cousins. On one gathering they had the most fun while creating new rules to a game that they made up. They were having so much fun just making the rules up. And when finally playing the game they had a blast. So be creative in your games and have fun.
Read together – This is especially good with young children. Reading with your child is very important and will help them build the skills to read and get proficient in reading. Of course read with your kid no matter how old they are even as a teenager if they will or want to. Find fun ways to read together.
Make a fun reading spot in a room or in the backyard where you can get cozy and read as a family. Take turns reading. Its fun when you have multiple people reading and in different voices. Have a spontaneous reading time or schedule a time even if it’s at bedtime. Most kids love being read to at bedtime and can become a routine. Read my blog How to Encourage Reading At Home, to get more great ideas.
Family camping trip somewhere – This can even be in your own backyard if your kids aren’t old enough, for financial reasons, or that just isn’t your thing. I will tell you that a camping trip off at some lake, state or national park is a very fun experience you can have and do at a pretty low cost. Find a place that is pretty close to where you live to make it more affordable.
My kids absolutely loved camping out at different places. So much family bonding can take place here and did. We worked together on cooking meals and getting it ready. You can have a fire pit and roast hot dogs and of course marshmallows. Go on walks together and explore sharing what you see and find along the way. You get to experience all that the outdoors brings you and yes that includes bugs. Some of our most fun vacations when the kids were little was out camping. If financially you can’t afford big trips try small camping trips.
If you have a backyard camp out you can still put up a tent, have a cookout, and roast marshmallows. Telling funny stories while gathered around a campfire or fire pit in your backyard can be fun. Tell funny silly stories when kids are young but as they get older tell ghost stories if they like it. Sleeping in a tent as a family can make you feel safe especially if out in the wilderness. It’s in times like that you feel that family bond because you know everyone in that tent would keep you safe and protect you.
Picnic with the family – Find a day that the weather is nice and plan a family picnic. This picnic could be in your backyard and do try it. But also try a picnic out at a park sometime. Sitting on a blanket in the beautiful weather eating with your family can be very peaceful. With small kids this can be exciting and fun. Chase your kids around and play with them. Maybe even bring a book or two to read to them in that peaceful environment laying on a blanket.
Play ground fun – Take your family to a playground. Don’t just let the kids play. Parents should get involved and play too – sometimes. If the playground is busy with kids it’s not always easy for parents to join and shouldn’t always join so kids can make friends. So find a park or time at a park that isn’t busy so you can have a family fun park outing. You can play chase, race them across the monkey bars, swing with them, and hang upside down with them. Just have fun with them and play with as that is a good family bonding time. This goes for your backyard as well. Play with them on whatever you have at home too.
Make meals together – Create fun meals together as a family. Try out different recipes and take turns choosing them. This can be good for you as a family to try different food items. Every member in the family can have a part in meal prep, meal cooking and buying the items. Baking is also a fun time with family. Actually my favorite as I have a sweet tooth. Who doesn’t like desserts, or at least want one occasionally. If your family doesn’t have a sweet tooth then think about making cookies or some type of dessert to give to extended family or neighbors. Working as a team can help build skills that can help throughout life.
Eat your evening meals together – Make it a routine. At meal time you can get a lot of info from your kids about what is going on at school, etc…. This is a great time for all family members to feel important and feel included. And to know someone really cares and is truly listening to them. It’s a great time to get info on what other family members like and how they change on things as they are aging and growing up. Such as: favorite color, sports they like, music they listen to and etc.
Clean together as a family – Families cleaning together is a great way to bond. Cleaning isn’t always fun but try and make it fun together. When you let your kids understand that as a family you all work together as one they feel part of the family. Letting them know each member in the family is responsible to help out and help each other. This builds that bond knowing families take care of each other. This can help in feeling that family bond. Have a family reward or incentive after your family cleaning time is great especially on a activity together. Read my blog on Cleaning With Family for some great tips.
Family trips/vacations – This goes without saying but can be some of the most fun ways in family bonding. Who doesn’t like going somewhere fun and explore. Try and involve your family with vacation planning. Get their input on where they might like to go or on activities to do at the place you are visiting. Don’t let your kids invite friends. This is a time for family bonding.
Use the full advantage of this time/get away. Have fun doing things as a family and enjoy all your interaction. Try not to be stressed out and pushy. Relax and have fun with your family. Build those strong family connections. Look at my beach blogs as those are great for families. If your family like the outdoors check out my Arizona and Utah adventures too. Oh and if you and your family like to go skiing I have great info for you as well.
Crafts together (Family Album) – Crafts as a family can be fun. One great family craft idea is to print out pictures from your last vacation. Get an album, and scrap booking materials and create a family scrapbook together. This doesn’t have to be from a vacation it could be pictures of everyone in the family from different occasions and making an album together.
If you make one after every family vacation that would be something for your kids to look forward to after the vacation. If your family enjoys making crafts then find a craft you can make all together. I have many craft ideas so take a look at those. Depending on ages some may have only small parts in the craft while others do most of the work. That works if all the family is included and has fun. Or have some easier crafts your younger children could make while older ones are working on a different project.
V-Day dance/Pop up dance – This could actually be a dance for any occasion or just a pop up dance. My kids enjoyed this when they were young. Everyone dress up a little, put some Christmas lights or other lights around the room as decoration Turn on the music and dance. This is also fun with a nice little dinner set up first. Kids can think its a treat when they can drink from your wine glasses or eat from fancy dishes. But only use fancy dishes if you are okay if one accidentally gets broken.
Family traditions – All families should have some family traditions. If you don’t have any yet make some. These can be some you carry down from your childhood family or some you have heard of. When you have family traditions like at holiday times it can give your family something to look forward to and do as a family. Family traditions don’t have to be just around holidays. It could be traditions you make up and then do each year or however often.
Celebrate Birthdays together– Everyone should feel a little extra special on their birthday. So this is a great time for families to express their love and show a little extra attention to the birthday girl/boy. Whether you have a big/little birthday party or just a birthday dinner, do something to celebrate them.
Have other siblings make (my preference) or buy a small gift to give their sibling. For my birthday I always just asked for them to make me something little, whether it was just a card or some small craft. My kids did get quite creative over the years and I love those gifts. Making or buying gifts and celebrating that person’s birthday not only makes the birthday person feel special but makes the other family member feel good by doing good. Yes I feel that this if family bonding time as well.
Family joke/story time/performance – laughter is the best medicine for families. Especially when your kids are younger they like to entertain and dance around. Maybe make skits. Do this as a family if your kids enjoy that. If your kids love jokes or like to tell made up stories have a time for them to do that. As a family you might have those that want to entertain and others that like to watch and that’s okay. Some can entertain the audience. Maybe make it like you are going to a concert, comedy show or magician act. Just remember to have fun and laugh as a family.
Support each member in the family – be their cheerleader. Be the fan out in the audience or stadium that they know is always rooting for them. Build that bond that they know you are always there for them no matter what. Try to go as a family to your kids events. Other siblings need to show that they are supporting them too. But also support and be a fan of them in everything they do.
Play games in the yard -There are so many ways to bond with your family by just playing around together in your yard. Depending on age you can play chase, bocce, corn hole, sports, racing games, and the list can go on and on. Making an obstacle course is fun and can be fun in making one with the family as well. If your family likes to have competitions then you can give that a try. You could even have a trophy that gets passed around.
Simple things – drawing with chalk on the sidewalk – coloring – You can do simple things with your family to create that family bonding time. Drawing outside with chalk on the sidewalk or driveway is fun. If you have space in a driveway it can be fun to make a city. Draw a grocery store, hospital, school, homes, and etc. Your kids could then drive their little cars or scooters around to the different places. Just sitting and drawing or coloring with your kids inside or out is good activity to do together.
You really don’t need to spend money to have family bonding take place.
It can be simple things you do each day. Saying you love them, giving hugs, wishing them a good day at school/work. Asking them how their day was. Just talking to them and spending time with them. Getting to know them and connect with them on different levels. Being able to confide in them when something is wrong or when upset. When all family members feel this closeness and connection it is what a family should be about and strive for.
As Your Kids Get Older Keep That Connection/Bond
When kids get older into their teens and beyond it may sometimes seem that the family bond isn’t as strong. It usually is still there but may need some fun ways as a family to keep it strong. Teens may not like hanging out as a family so be creative and think of things that your teens will like and do those.
As an example, my son was into watching the Walking Dead series. I was hesitant but I knew if I wanted to spend time with him this was a way we could connect.
Sometimes it’s doing those things you don’t necessarily want to do in order to get that family time together. I ended up liking the show and we watched a lot of seasons together and spent time talking about it.
With teenagers they are always busy doing other things. Or don’t want to hang out with family anymore. Try finding some times where you order food in or they help you cook and eat and talk together. Watch a movie together that they like.
When your older kids are trying to be independent and start their own life, find things they are interested in now and do those with them.
If they have moved out of the house invite them over for dinner or game night.
Try to keep your family bond strong as they age and make new families. But do give them the space at that time to build their own family bonds.
If you ever wonder if you have a strong family bond. Think about these questions.If you answer yes to these questions I think you still have a strong family bond. Would your family drop everything and go be by your side if in an emergency? When planning a trip would your family change or accommodate you and your schedule to include you on a trip/vacation? Would you drop everything to help out a family member in need? Do you or would you offer help when you think your family needs it? Would you help out if a family member asked you to? Do you support your family member in a sporting activity or other – be their biggest fan? Would they support you?
Don’t let it be a huge emergency for you to realize that you have a strong family bond. Embrace that if you have had family bonding with your kids and kept it up throughout their childhood you still have it. In my opinion if you truly bonded with your family it is always there. Even if you don’t see it or don’t want to see it for some reason.
As I said my family has a strong bond and for an example I’ll share a little story with you.
My kids are in their twenties now but they know that family is there for them when needed. So when we got a call the other day to help pick up some furniture we said yes.
When we arrived at the place 30 minutes away and they weren’t there because of a mix up. We hung out in the area for about an hour or maybe longer till they got the moving truck and met us.
You know the show Storage Wars, well it felt like my daughter and her boyfriend just bought a locker. But instead of a locker they bought a garage FULL of stuff.
It was cool as they really found some great items and maybe will make a lot of their money back after their garage sale. But well, this took us several hours and a lot of sweat. And that was just loading it all then came for the unloading at their house.
This ended up being a days work but we didn’t complain because we were helping family. And a great thing to add is that my daughter asked her brother to come and help and instead of sleeping in and watching movies or playing video games all day, he said yes. That is an example of good sibling bond too.